Post by BostonQ on Apr 28, 2004 17:32:58 GMT -5
On last night's episode of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien", they did a segment called "Celebrity Survey"... Here's how Conan introduced it:
Conan: "... I love celebrities. I think celebrities are funny, good looking, and successful... and sometimes maybe all three [points to himself]. I get to chat with celebrities on the show, but I wanted to find out more about them, so I recently mailed a questionaire to some of America's biggest stars. I didn't think I'd hear back, but a surprising number of famous people responded... And we're going to show you their answers tonight in a little segment we call 'Celebrity Survey'. Here's how the survey works: we asked three celebrities to complete a phrase..."
So, basically, the joke is that Conan says a phrase, and then gives the answer that three different celebrities put on their surveys... The joke of this bit is that the first two answers are not funny and what you would expect the person to say, but then the third answer is the funny one...
Here's the one that featured Cher:
"Whenever I'm on stage, I..."
Cher wrote: "give 110%."
Rod Stewart wrote: "feed off the crowd's energy."
MC Hammer wrote: "am asked what I am doing, then escorted out by security. Hey, they're just dong their jobs."
The picture they used of Cher was one from the premiere of STUCK ON YOU... It was a nice photo, and Cher had a great smile... I just thought it was cool that Cher was the celebrity chosen for the "give 110%" answer, because whenever Cher is on stage, she definitely does... Also cool was right after Conan read Cher's answer, he said, "oh, that's nice."
In case anyone is interested, here were the other jokes in the "Celebrity Survey" segment:
"My favorite author is..."
Donald Rumsfeld wrote: "Jack London"
Colin Powell wrote: "Henry James"
President Bush wrote: "Arthur 2: On The Rocks"
"Whenever I hear a bird sing, I..."
Norah Jones wrote: "sing along."
Toby Keith wrote: "try to identify it."
Billy Joel wrote: "crash my car."
"My first pet was..."
Barbara Walters wrote: "a rabbit."
Kelly Rippa wrote: "a cat."
Star Jones wrote: " delicious. "
"People confuse me with..."
Tom Daschel wrote: "Gary Hart"
Jeffrey Tambor wrote: " Dr. Phil "
John Karrey wrote: "McGruff"
"Everyday I make it a point to..."
Loretta Lynn wrote: "thank God for all that I've been given."
Sheryl Crow wrote: "pray for world peace."
Courtney Love wrote: "throw my feces at a cop."
"Nobody knows I can..."
David Duchovny wrote: "speak Italian."
Stone Phillips wrote: "speak Russian."
Arnold Schwartzenegger wrote: "speak English."
"If I were an animal, I'd be..."
John Goodman wrote: "a bear."
Jamie Lee Curtis wrote: "a tiger."
Mike Wallace wrote: "extinct."
"I'm very attracted to a woman who is..."
Sting wrote: "highly intelligent."
John Cusack wrote: "compassionate."
Max Weinberg wrote: "highly intelligent and compassionate. (No fatties please.)"
"You'll never find me..."
Michael Moore wrote: "in a Wal-Mart."
Kenneth Cole wrote: "in a Gap."
Richard Simmons wrote: "in a girl."
Conan: "... I love celebrities. I think celebrities are funny, good looking, and successful... and sometimes maybe all three [points to himself]. I get to chat with celebrities on the show, but I wanted to find out more about them, so I recently mailed a questionaire to some of America's biggest stars. I didn't think I'd hear back, but a surprising number of famous people responded... And we're going to show you their answers tonight in a little segment we call 'Celebrity Survey'. Here's how the survey works: we asked three celebrities to complete a phrase..."
So, basically, the joke is that Conan says a phrase, and then gives the answer that three different celebrities put on their surveys... The joke of this bit is that the first two answers are not funny and what you would expect the person to say, but then the third answer is the funny one...
Here's the one that featured Cher:
"Whenever I'm on stage, I..."
Cher wrote: "give 110%."
Rod Stewart wrote: "feed off the crowd's energy."
MC Hammer wrote: "am asked what I am doing, then escorted out by security. Hey, they're just dong their jobs."
The picture they used of Cher was one from the premiere of STUCK ON YOU... It was a nice photo, and Cher had a great smile... I just thought it was cool that Cher was the celebrity chosen for the "give 110%" answer, because whenever Cher is on stage, she definitely does... Also cool was right after Conan read Cher's answer, he said, "oh, that's nice."
In case anyone is interested, here were the other jokes in the "Celebrity Survey" segment:
"My favorite author is..."
Donald Rumsfeld wrote: "Jack London"
Colin Powell wrote: "Henry James"
President Bush wrote: "Arthur 2: On The Rocks"
"Whenever I hear a bird sing, I..."
Norah Jones wrote: "sing along."
Toby Keith wrote: "try to identify it."
Billy Joel wrote: "crash my car."
"My first pet was..."
Barbara Walters wrote: "a rabbit."
Kelly Rippa wrote: "a cat."
Star Jones wrote: " delicious. "
"People confuse me with..."
Tom Daschel wrote: "Gary Hart"
Jeffrey Tambor wrote: " Dr. Phil "
John Karrey wrote: "McGruff"
"Everyday I make it a point to..."
Loretta Lynn wrote: "thank God for all that I've been given."
Sheryl Crow wrote: "pray for world peace."
Courtney Love wrote: "throw my feces at a cop."
"Nobody knows I can..."
David Duchovny wrote: "speak Italian."
Stone Phillips wrote: "speak Russian."
Arnold Schwartzenegger wrote: "speak English."
"If I were an animal, I'd be..."
John Goodman wrote: "a bear."
Jamie Lee Curtis wrote: "a tiger."
Mike Wallace wrote: "extinct."
"I'm very attracted to a woman who is..."
Sting wrote: "highly intelligent."
John Cusack wrote: "compassionate."
Max Weinberg wrote: "highly intelligent and compassionate. (No fatties please.)"
"You'll never find me..."
Michael Moore wrote: "in a Wal-Mart."
Kenneth Cole wrote: "in a Gap."
Richard Simmons wrote: "in a girl."