YOUR CHER TOUR STORIES: WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST?

[CherUniverse]

I got to thinking back the other day about all of our Cher travels. I thought it might be fun for everybody to "Cher" their funny stories. What was the funniest or craziest things that happened to you on the way to see Cher or on the way from seeing her? Any mishaps or close calls? Any screwy moments where you felt like you just stepped out of an "I Love Lucy" episode that you`ll always remember? Trips can be very entertaining sometimes, but Cher is always worth it in the end! ;D

Topping my own list in #1 position has to be the time I had just come home from a Cher show and then learned just days later that I had been exposed to the Chicken Pox! I went 44 years without getting those and just let me fly anywhere for the first time since 1969... to see Cher... and BINGO! It was so bad you could`ve connected the dots and ended up with a map of the whole United States! LOL. My trip was several days long so the doctor could pin point that time frame for my exposure. It turned out to be one of the worst adult cases seen and I have the scars to prove it. BUT... who else can now point to a scar and say... Cher show! And she was worth it! LOL. I have no clue whether it was on one of the planes or the show itself, but that one sure tops my list.

A few brief other things come to mind too. There was the one time before take off on a flight coming home from a show this 20 something girl freaked out on the plane and wanted off. There was no calming her down so I`l glad they let her off. She had some kind of panic attack. I`m glad that wasn`t my first flight since 1969. LOL. But I did have a baggage check guy yank my chain once though. I was coming home and my ride just dropped me off and this guy was so straight faced when he said your are no flights going to your city tonight! For a second he had me there too.

Then there was the time we neglected to list me on the room, though we all had key cards, and at 3:00 am I got locked out of the room when my card stopped working and the woman at the desk wouldn`t replace it. So I had to ask for security and they came up and I had to prove that my stuff was in the room. I said you`ll find a blue bag and CHER STUFF on the floor near the window. LOL. Then they let me in.

Probably one of the funniest shows I attended was all in the seating. Though they were 3rd row on the floor left of stage, this was the only show I have been to where the boom arm of the camera was so long and low we actually had to dodge it all night long in order to see Cher. It turned out to be so funny actually. My girlfriend even saw Cher notice us bobbing and weaving. Had to be entertaining. Good thing we weren`t tall too. I really thought somebody was going to get creamed in those first few rows.

We even came close once to hitting an already dead dear laying across the road at night too. We swerved just in time though. Yup, Cher travels have been an adventure for sure!


Pam

[Jan]

At her Atlantic City L Proof show one summer I gave her flowers during All I Really Wanna Do and yep..the friggin flower shop did NOT tie the bow tight enough!...I DIED..all the flowers went "POOF" all over the friggin stage!!!!!! CHER kinda chuckled and took it pretty well..she gave a look like"umm what happened! LOL" She saw I had my hand over my mouth ..I had whispered OMG to myself!!!!!!!! The guards on side of stage even were liked laughing and the high rollers up front! I wanted to die! LOL..the stems and all! LOL..was funny when I think about it later! I remember after the show telling my brother and sister in law (non cher fans of course)who thought it was hysterical! lol..I laugh about it now! Fiqures THAT one LAM video did NOT have on tape ! LOL....Now a NON Cher tour thing that I'll never forget that was funny (well not at time)..was when my Cher doll head bust doll once came apart at an airport..I was visiting my cher buddy out of state and had picked up this rare find many yrs ago..well the guy at airport ran my bag (PRE 9/11 yet..only me)thru the machine and was like "whaddya got a head in there! LOL" I was like "as a matter of fact! ....LOL" Yep..u guessed it..HE Opened my bag lifted it out..BUT he must have grabbed wrong way and the friggin HEAD (CHER'S)went rolling around the friggin airport! I DIED!!!!!!!!!!!! was so pissed!!!!!!!!!!! Well we FINALLY retrieved it and well I never heard the end of it..try being in an airport full of NON Cher fans! LOL..they couldn't believe how I chased thru the airport for that! LOL..Another time I had my Cher doll at a show at MSG and I lost the shoe!!! Since then I NEVER have the shoes on when I bring it to a tour (right Bert! LOL)...and one nite after the show (Believe tour one)I had the entire section on a rampage lookin for it..incl ppl that were in from WA! LOL..I was like NOBODY friggin move till I find this shoe! ...Then there was St Louis in Vonnie's car when Pam sat on my leg in this cramped car on way to get bite to eat and we realized later as we finally got out of car she sat on the Cher doll's head! LOL..Thank god Pam is thin! LOL:) was too funny! Remember Pam? ...Then at Roseland when Cher performed for Clintons once I went to give her flowers and I'll never forget a waiter accidentally was moving a chair for someone and as I ran back to my seat BOOM he hits my head w/the chair..It was set up table style there (not arena style) so I was ducking while running back to not block everyone so he did not see me ! LOL..killed at the time but got us FREE drinks! LOL:) God..so many more but god I'd write a book! LOL..Any others out there? Jan

[CherUniverse]

I forgot about that, Jan! There really was no other place for me but on your lap in the front seat and you thought I was going to be so light....then your leg killed ya! LOL. I had no clue I was sitting on Cher`s doll head until you pulled it out. Her aire was all messed up and it was pretty funny though. Thank God this was after the show and not before.

I just knew YOU of all people would have plenty of funny Cher travel stories, OMG! When does your book come out???


Pam

[DEE]

Well, I also have an airport story. It was after the last convention and we were heading back to Detroit! I ran my carry on travel bag through the x-ray scanner like always and they put it back through with a very serious look on their face. I wondered what were they looking at? They ran it through several times; in the mean time they had Matt, myself and my oldest son all step aside and began to search us and all our stuff. Shoes off, belts off, the whole nine yards! I was frigging out! I heard them say something about wires and an antena and what could it be. They had radioed for the police and security was all around us. The other people we were with had already made it through, including my ADHD son Pat who was upset that they were holding us up, and he was complaining to the guards, which didn't help at all!! They started taking things out of my travel case one by one and slowly x-rayed it again. Finally they came down to a towel rolled up and said that this was what they were concerned about. By this time alot of security is around and the police are on their way. I am franticly trying to think what I wrapped in that towel! I couldn't remember because I had wrapped a bunch of stuff so as not to get broken. They kept talking about wires and antennas and a remote control of some kind; I am a total wreck by now, thinking I am going to pass out! I couldn't think, what was in that d**n towel!!!! I was like, Just unwrap the d**n thing, I know I don't have any thing dangerous or explosive in my bag! Finally with security every where they unwrap this towel and I am most laughed out loud (but it really wasn't funny!). They had been looking at a flask from Cher's santuary calalog that I had bought at the convention! It has metal in the shape of a cross on the front of it and a metal cap that comes to a point! This was their antenna and wires. I guess wrapped in the towel through an x-ray maybe this metal could look like wires, but I couldn't believe it! They called the police back and told them false alarm and the security people started leaving. One of them started talking to me about Cher and her perfume and how his wife likes it so much etc. I really didn't want to talk with him, I just wanted to get the heck out of there and go home!!! So this year if I by another flask it will go in my big luggage and hopefully it won't hold the whole plane up!!!
So, Jan and Sheri do you really want to be in a airport with me?
DEE

[Jan]

LOL Dee..sure why not but luckily I live here and we usually got diff airlines..but sheri will have to experience that with ya! LOL:))

[Ash]

Oh, wow. Those are great stories. I've never held up a plane or any of that, but I s'pose I've got some Cher show stories to cher.

My first concert was in Council Bluffs, Iowa, about twenty minutes (more or less) away. My Dad knew where it was but my Mom was taking me. He drove her over there once the week before so she'd be able to find her way, so we figured we were set. We printed a map online, too. Well, leave it to Lady and I to get lost! We left plenty early, but we drove all over and were trying to exit onto nonexistant streets for what felt like a thousand years. She kept telling me to call my Dad, and when I did he was like, "How difficult *is* this?! Just follow the map! The map doesn't lie!" over and over. It's almost funny now but at the time it was terrible. A half hour before the show we were somewhere in downtown Omaha. We got there eventually, though. We were both about ready to strangle somebody. My mood picked up right away, of course.

The second show was kind of a bummer, too. The concert was all I could think about for weeks upon weeks. Exactly one week before the concert, I could hardly sit still. I was so excited. So of course I get myself a cold or flu or something the day of the concert. My homeroom teacher even told me I looked awful and should go home (I was asleep face-down on my desk at the time). A week before, I couldn't sleep, and then a half hour before I had to leave, I was still in my pajamas, sleeping on my bed. My Dad came in and woke me up and told me I better haul you-know-what to be there in time. I could hardly coordinate myself enough to get out of bed. I forgot to wear glitter and almost lost my rhinestones. I raided the medicine cabinet and then it was time to go. By the time I got in the car and put the Live CD in the stereo, I was feeling much better and didn't think a thing of it the rest of the night. I'm so glad, too. I absolutely would have shot myself if I wasn't able to enjoy a Cher concert because of some stupid cold. Oh, the things we'll put ourselves through just to see Cher. ^^

[James]

I guess one of the funniest moments I remember was at the Memphis show. My son and I got the venue around 4 oclock the day of the show. It was in March so there was still a chill in the air. There was a handful of people standing around and of course the topic of conversation was Cher. We were exchanging Cher stories and just general chit chat. Around 4:45 we heard the band fire up inside for the sound check. They were playing several of the songs from the show. Cher wasnt there, Patti was singing all the vocals. All of a sudden I herad the familar opening notes to Walking In Memphis. OMG!!! Shes going to do Walking In Memphis tonite. Everyone looked at me like I was a fool. One girl said So what, I bet she does it every nite. Still freaking out I yelled No, shes not doing that song on this tour. The girl said how do you know that? I said Because I know. The girl thought I was crazy I think. LOL. During the concert at the part where Cher brings the stool out she said We are going to a song tonite that we havent done in 3 or 4 years. I shouted out Walking In Memphis again. I was hoping the girl heard that. The band started playing the song and Cher started singing too soon. She put her face in her hand and just shook her head. She had a little smile on her face. When it came time for her to start the first verse she got it right that time. After the song was over she said That started out kinda rough but it ended up ok. I left that show with a feeling that I had seen something really special that nite. Not only did I get to see her do an extra song, I got to see her make a mistake. Should have been at the sound check girl!!!! It was awesome!!!!

James

[Jan]

OK Di I know you're in Sunny FL for your b'day but oh god how could I forget this one..In Toronto for Cher's Halloween show we all flew out there and in the arena it was reallllllllllly hot realllllllllllllllllly hot..I was in clown makeup and this hot costume...so finally I said that's it..I know I'll be dancing and screaming my head off once Cher hits stage (not to mention all the amazing 70s bands preceding Cher)so my friends and I went to bathroom before showtime (I had other clothes on underneath cos we had an afterparty at Planet Hollywood)..I stripped all the clown outfit off but then had nothing or nowhere to put it..was so funny at the time cause I had still the clown wig face paint and wig on ...well most of the stalls were busy so since show was about to start I just took it all off in the bathroom..to me was no big deal..I am from NY and was now in Canada noone knows me anyways! LOL..but the LOOK on this one 80 or 90 Yr old so woman who was watching me was hysterical!!!!!!!! LOL:) the Look on her face was priceless! She said even if she missed the show this was incredible! LOL..Hey u can't waste any time when Ms Cher about to hit the stage! LOL..was funny cause all my friends saw me BEFORE I lost the clown suit! LOL:) and then before Cher came out they were like...umm something is missing! LOL